Many times I coach men and women who have no idea how to change their partners. They are constantly complaining about how much effort they put forth and their partner is not responding appropriately. This is a formula from the EGO.
The Ego has one goal: to box you away from anything you want or could love. It works overtime to convince you that you have problems in all areas of your life. When you decide that you want more money, more love, or anything that has passion attached to it, the EGO focuses on holding you back. Your challenges in life are not in front of you to resist or overcome. Challenges are here for you to transcend through. In other words, this is your chance to really show up. To demonstrate of compassionate and skill full your are. If you have a negative feeling about a possible love connection then you are listening to the EGO. It is time to hear your heart and ascend your life forward.
Life was not given to you to be in pain. The challenge is well needed for you to step it up.
If you say you want a certain kind of lover, then you will be given the experiences to assist you in becoming a person who has the skills to be with your ideal mate. To match them. You do not get the attention of someone when you do not have the skills to match them. That is impossible. They would never be attracted to you. Open up to whom you are with and allow the space to grow with them.
You have the possibility to go far when you get focused on creating a life verses complaining about a life you do not have. Be sure you are not nit picking with your EGO and miss out on what is possible. I know that the EGO is REALLY convincing but honestly the focus should be on you being 100% responsible for everything you want. Bring it instead of expect it. Do not bring your desires to the space with an expectation that your lover is going to show up giving to you because you gave to them. That is manipulation.
Listen up!!
Give to them the way they want to be given to and you will experience a massive shift in their characteristics. When you give to your partner the way they want to receive love then you open their space up to trust you. Once someone trusts the space completely they have the ability and inspiration to focus on you. When someone does not trust they are always trying to get more to fill a need that ensures them they are safe with you.
Ask yourself what would they really like? Not what do I feel like doing for them because my heart is in pitter patter mode. Most of us make the mistake to show love in ways we like to give it. Learn about what your partner likes to do in their life. Then surprise them with something that is in the playing field of what is important to them. The joy and self-worth you will get from genuinely giving is repayment enough for you to do it again.
Try this approach for the next 30 days and see what opens up in your life. My wish for you is long lasting INSPIRED love.
Shanda Sumpter is the co-founder of HeartCore BootCamp along with Allyson Spellman.
Be sure to register for 8 weeks of FREE empowerment coaching at http://www.heartcorebootcamp.com/freecoaching/catch.html
Related posts:
